- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Place Where
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I want to drive away.
To get away from this place, where hearts are frayed.
Break free of this place, where heartache seems to follow me.
To go to a place, where my heart is free.
I want to go to a place, where I never knew you.
A place where, the flower of my affection never grew.
The place where, I knew all of your aims.
That wonderful place, where I never fell into your games
A place where, I never cried you any tears.
A place where, none of your lies fell into my ears.
The place where, I never felt this horrible ache.
The place where, this heart of mine could never break.
The place where, I called you on out on your lies.
Where you told me the truth and we compromised.
Where we could be together again,
Or at least where we could be friends.
- COMMENTS
demure101almost 11 years agoWhether it will help?
Edna St,Vincent Millay ends a sonnet about loss:
[...] entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!
5d
SweetOblivionalmost 11 years agoand keep some sense of form and rhythm. Nicely done. S.O
Scotsman69almost 11 years agoYou could afford to lose a few commas. Otherwise lovely. Keep posting.
Anonymousalmost 11 years ago"The place where, I called you out on your lies."
Also, perhaps lose some of the commas, including the one in the above line.
Five.
