The Playmates' Prayer

Dear God,
Grant me the power to please the photogrpaher, and
make my breasts as supple and round as possible.
Help me keep up my image as a sweet and innocent little virgin,
even when i've slept with every guy i know, except the cleaner.
Let me find a nice rich guy who isn't going to make me finish college
because i really hate psychology and english.
Please find a way so i can eat carbs and chocolate again,
and not put on another 3 pounds. And make sure i dont have to do another shoot with puppies
because i can't take any more allergy drops til monday.
Give me the strength not to scratch the other girls eyes out,
beacuse they've been real bitches recently, that or not to break a nail.
Help the computer technicians perfect their art of smoothing out my cellulite,
and while you're at it, could you make me a NATURAL blonde???