The Poet's Journey

!!I!! was from my mother's womb untimely ripped in the U.S.A.

!!I!! was slow and then very fast to read and write

!!I!! listened every night to Mozart for my youthful mind

!!I!! read many books of many sorts from an early age: enjoying especially classical literature and history

!!I!! at 16, spent a summer of sweat and grit, helping to dig "the wonderland trail" in Mount Rainier National Park.

!!I!! did push-ups and sit-ups every day, worked and saved most every dollar, but had few friends and never a girlfriend till college

!!I!! took to the internet and developed sexual perversities that, though I usually repress them, plague me to this day

!!I!! took well to university learning, drank and smoked pot, had wild-hearted friends

!!I!! was badly wronged by lying police, took to drinking and drugging too much, slept with too many women in the wrong spirit, and had angry but true letters published in the newspapers for years: was harassed more because of it

!!I!! perservering, kept my academic scholarship and after four years received my B.A. in English and Literature, having used these years to do much private study as well

!!I!! returned home to my country neighborhood, secretly thinking my health lost forever, but the nurture of my parents, moderation, and long walks in the mountain woods soon restored my strength

!!I!! accepted a job writing T.V. advertising in a big city sky-scraper. They liked my work and treated me well, but my heart wasn't in it. A lesbian woman had a son of my blood at this time

!!I!! quit with sudden rudeness and accepted a professorship in Phetchaburi Province, Thailand, a region of dense and thriving rice farms. Here, I had many adventures in a fascinating and little known world

!!I!! rode elephants, served coconut milk to Buddhist monks, and associated with rice-farmers, generals, street-sweepers, artists, and musicians. I visited obscure villages, famous temples, and saw the ancient thrones of Thailand's royal dynasty. Week by week, I put much of this on the world-wide web

!!I!! began to grow unhappy and home-sick, drank too much too often, and began my journey home to the U.S.A. It was then that I was taken with severe arsenic poisoning on the island of Koh Toa, but was comforted by a number of European expatriates: Germans, French, Italian, Spanish, Jewish, etc.

!!I!! returned to the U.S.A. and made my way about with a cane, miserable, still writing. But soon my inspiration, fiery spirit, and even some of my health returned and in passionate raptures, I wrote much of my finest poetry. But it wasn't widely appreciated and, having neither money nor a healthy body nor a stable mind, I fell on hard times indeed

!!I!! wandered through psychiatric institutions, cruel and cold streets, and landed a couple times in the same barbaric dungeon where I'd been abused before. I wrote more letters, for years afterward

!!I!! was officially recognized as being psychologically disabled and given a small income. But I was smashed up inside, and for about half a year I lingered between life and death: neither writing, nor reading, nor creating, nor honoring the blessed gifts Gaiia had given me

!!I!! began to come to life again, slowly like the plants in "Spring and All," but soon my creative mind was in full blossom creating art, music, and poetry such as I never had before; many friends helped this happen

!!I!! discovered that some women found me attractive again, and I bought feasts for them, and shared idyllic days of love

!!I!! read voraciously and had philosophical insights such as the insipid nature of electoral democracy, the factual falsity of all religions, and the dangers of rampant materialism, and shared these with the world. This did not make me popular or wealthy, but I continued to plant the seeds in the fertile soil of literature and humanity

!!I!! continued to seize the day, and to live my life as an epic poet-warrior. I lived, read, struggled, and wrote... and sometimes drank and drugged too much to get the job done, and for less heroic reasons. I sent many gifts to my son and thought of him often; no more was allowed or needed

!!I!! in daily pain and weariness, caught in a struggle for the island of my life with a fierce and cunning dragon, took some hours to write this tale that I hope may show the reader things that are and are not advisable for a successful life journey