The Pushcarts War

In '36 the mayor said
Pushcarts made the city
Look bad.

Who knew how old
The cabbage was,
If grown with dogshit,
Or what it weighed,
And why the hassle
Of haggled transactions
For those who always paid their taxes?

Meanwhile, the merchants
Of Mulberry Street
Smote all the people
Who paid no rent.

So Mayor Fio LaGuardia said,
"Take all of them,
Put them inside
And make them pay 25 cents."

Carts were slain
For indoor bins,
City inspectors,
And city hall heat.

Sales soon plummeted 60%.

Some long haired freak
Went insane,
Drove all the merchants
Back to the street,
So they rode his ass
Like you wouldn't believe,

And the city has never
Been the same.