The rain

Poem Info
165 words
3.75
1.6k
0
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
Jeanttesome
Jeanttesome
13 Followers

lets take a walk on the beach
just being side by side
ecstasy within reach

watch the sun fall beneath the ocean
bodies pressed tight against one another
gentle caresses leading to that blissful motion

bodies entwined, sand everywhere
hands on random body parts
take control, pulling your hair

begging for more
squeezing your supple chest
a little pain for you, ecstasy galore

the softness of the breeze
cooling the heat
of a body on her knees

looking like a fallen angel from behind
desire taking hold
thrusting hard and furious, no interest in being kind

how you beg for more from me
simply fuels the fire
hands holding your hips, slapping your ass intensely

waves crashing in the distance
increasing the rythym of our passion
harder, faster, more .... explosion of pleasure in an instance

shaking hard and tightness gripping
holding on like never before
side by side gasping for air sweat dripping

pleasure from pain
clouds come

and

we
feel
the rain

Jeanttesome
Jeanttesome
13 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
5 Comments
PrincessErinPrincessErinabout 13 years ago
Sexy

Another sexy poem although this one was a little wordy. Not sure how to describe it but not as flowing as your other poem.

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
~

The first five stanzas of this poem are wonderful as are the last lines mentioned by Chip. I think maybe if you lose what is in the middle you could have something that is incredible. You really can write very well, all you need to do is edit more and try to recognise what it is that is unique in a piece of work, then focus on that.

UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellabout 13 years ago
~

I think you could tighten this up with some editing maybe bring the meter more in line

thanks for the read

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
i think this comes across as

being more a personal write, with a tendency to exclude the casual reader. i couldn't get engaged with it much, though it did exude a sense of fondness for the object of the narrator's passion. if this was written for a certain someone, i'm sure they'll be most pleased you wrote it for them.

having said that, these last lines .. now these became something of interest to me as an outsider - what you do here is allow the reader to engage with the poem:

pleasure from pain

clouds come

and

we

feel

the rain

Share this Poem