tagErotic PoetryThe Royal Wedding

The Royal Wedding


Some Patriotic Verses to celebrate the Great Occasion.

Before her son married Camilla,
Her Majesty wanted to kill her.
But, faced with the choice of a knife or a gun,
She couldn’t decide which offered more fun.

When it came to Lady Diana
It was worse; she’d wanted to ban her.
‘If We found her dead, We’d be pleased, We feel
‘To see her impaled on a Merc’s steering wheel.’

It wasn’t that Lizzie was callous;
How COULD you think she was jealous?
No… it was only the cock of Phil the Greek
That ever left her feeling meek.

One brave reporter asked (taking the risk):
‘Ma’am, what do you think of as your favourite disk?’
‘It’s a hard choice but, if pushed, at a pinch,
‘We’d say “Magic Moments” on Philip’s seven inch.’


The Queen was more kindly disposed
To her grandsons (as every one knows)
Wills was her fave;
She wanted to rave
With him hidden under her clothes.

Little Willie loved his mother;
A passion that would brook no other.
But thought his stepmum’s withered minge
Should really make his father cringe.


And so it’s over; they are wed.
Plums surround the nuptial bed.
‘Why plums?’ you ask. The reason’s glorious;
The anthem says ‘Send Her Victorias’.

Now Charlie still supports the hunt
Despite New Labour’s ban
But Parker-Bowles’s baggy cunt
Leaves him a happy man.

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