The Royal Wedding

Some Patriotic Verses to celebrate the Great Occasion.

Before her son married Camilla,
Her Majesty wanted to kill her.
But, faced with the choice of a knife or a gun,
She couldn’t decide which offered more fun.

When it came to Lady Diana
It was worse; she’d wanted to ban her.
‘If We found her dead, We’d be pleased, We feel
‘To see her impaled on a Merc’s steering wheel.’

It wasn’t that Lizzie was callous;
How COULD you think she was jealous?
No… it was only the cock of Phil the Greek
That ever left her feeling meek.

One brave reporter asked (taking the risk):
‘Ma’am, what do you think of as your favourite disk?’
‘It’s a hard choice but, if pushed, at a pinch,
‘We’d say “Magic Moments” on Philip’s seven inch.’

*****

The Queen was more kindly disposed
To her grandsons (as every one knows)
Wills was her fave;
She wanted to rave
With him hidden under her clothes.

Little Willie loved his mother;
A passion that would brook no other.
But thought his stepmum’s withered minge
Should really make his father cringe.

*****

And so it’s over; they are wed.
Plums surround the nuptial bed.
‘Why plums?’ you ask. The reason’s glorious;
The anthem says ‘Send Her Victorias’.

Now Charlie still supports the hunt
Despite New Labour’s ban
But Parker-Bowles’s baggy cunt
Leaves him a happy man.