- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Salutatorian
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My friends had asked, how was it so, that I had passed
From steadfast salutatorian to being
Such a promiscuous slut
(a redundancy of sorts, but not their words).
But I answered so disingenuously
And with so politely maintained a pretense
Of taking no offense at all:
"Oh my God, I know, I am soooo
Dissipated now, you would not believe!"
Ay, that was my very word: 'dissipated.'
I think I said it with a little cough
As though I were clearing my throat of an
Intractable string of half-hour old jiz.
Sorry: that's a disgusting image.
'Dissipated' itself is rather a
Meretricious word-- which in no way means
'Merit' or relates to merit at all; and,
Considering myself a member of the
Meritocracy in good standing
(whatever my extracurriculars)
I should hate to have to own up to it,
Which is why my thongs all hail from La Perla.
"What a revel! So lovely again to meet!--
Yes, girls, another Cosmo, please. I do
Seem to have something caught in my throat.
Now: whose husband is the one in the blue polo again?"
- COMMENTS
twelveoonealmost 13 years agoto disagree? A 5. For a contrarian view, if you want one, read Senna Jawa's post regarding mixing high and low. Always a good thing to take a different look.
Anonymousalmost 13 years agoThis works brilliantly. If that undertone of a very dry humour didn't run throughout this poem, it would have become extremely contrived. And forced. But somehow, I enjoyed reading this. More importantly, I could relate the poem to many such frivolous flirty conversations one had had among friends. Rates a sure 5 in my opinion!
greenmountaineeralmost 13 years agoI love this kind of humor in a poem. "Salutatorian" set the whole poem in motion for me. "Valedictorian" wouldn't have had the same effect.
The conversational tone with a few high brow words thrown in made the poem IMO.
This was smart and humorous. Well done!
WillowedCabinalmost 13 years agoOops, my mistake. That would be half-hour old cum.
WillowedCabinalmost 13 years agoSex and the City, gritty feminism and the hacked up, two-hour old cum. I'm totally biased to this sort of stuff, but it helped that it was really well written.
