- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Shores Of My Dreams
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Click hereThe Shores Of My Dreams
Standing on the shores of my dreams
Where thoughts, like ships sail by.
And the waves of fantasy wash ashore,
Under starlit skies
Each idea ripples the sands
Making dunes at my feet,
And music is the breeze.
Nightmares are the stuff of storms,
Never far away
But a lover can still the tempest here,
And drive the ghosts away.
This beach I can never share
Save by ink and pen,
But every night I come to this sea
And gaze out upon the waves,
And dream of what might be.
Standing here I wonder
What shores in sleep you see.
And do your thoughts, like ships,
Sail by beneath that starlit sky?
I wish that we could meet some night,
Together upon this shore,
And share the music that is the breeze
And explore the midnight sea.
- COMMENTS
WickedEvealmost 20 years agoBut a lover can still the tempest here,
And drive the ghosts away.
This beach I can never share
Save by ink and pen,
Keep up the good work. :)
twelveoonealmost 20 years agoOne of the things you can do to improve is cut away all wasted words i.e. ask yourself do I need this "this", "and" "I" etc.
"Sail by beneath that starlit sky?" do you need "by" or even "that"?
Sail beneath starlit sky - sounds almost 19th century, that would be another problem, too much sounds like something else.
I did read your plea in a thread, and I hope you take it in the spirit that it is given, because, with just a little more work, you can make it sing, very pleasantly. And if you don't like what I say, go pound the crap out of my 'llusions, just leave a reason.
Teenage Venusalmost 20 years agoI love and hate the sea - My best friend got killed at sea.
I'm always happiest sat alone by the shore.
Poems like this I devour.
This one is a well-written gem that made me happy and sad.
Thanks. It is one I will keep and read often.
