The Signifying Monkey

Way out in the jungle
Where the coconuts grew
Lived the noisiest signifying monkey
The world ever knew

Now nothing had been stirring
In the jungle for quite a bit
So the monkey decided to start
Some of his signifying shit

He said to the Lion
Under the tree one day,
There's a mean mother fucker
Living down your way

He's talked about you
And all your kin
If you wait a little bit
I'll tell you how it begins

Now me and this elephant
Was talking one day
And he talked about your family
In a hell of a way!

Said he'd fucked your sister
And fucked your niece
And was coming back tonight
To ask your mama for a piece

Lion said, "I'm a peaceful man"
But I won't let that pass,
I'll find that big mother fucker
And kick his big fat ass.

He roared through the jungle
Tearing down trees,
Knocked a few giraffes
Down on their knees

Came upon the elephant
Under the coconut trees
Said, "You big mother fucker"
It's you or me!

Now don't you say
A god-dam word
I'm gonna kick your ass
'Bout something I heard

You say you've fucked my sister
And you've fucked my niece
And are coming back tonight
To ask my mama for a piece

The lion got mad
And began to roar
His tail lashed out
Like a forty-four

Drew back his right
Made a hell of a pass
But the elephant side stepped
And knocked him flat on his ass!

The jungle roared
from that awful fight
When it was over
The lion was a hell of a sight

He crawled away
More dead than alive
That's when the monkey
Started his signifying jive

Oh mister Lion
You don't look so well
Matter of fact you look like
You caught some particular hell

You look likes a cat's ass
With the seven year itch
Now King of the Jungle
Ain't that a bitch?

Every time me and my wife
Try to get a little bit
You come around with that
King of the Jungle bit

Don't you act
Like you want to roar
Or I'll come down
And kick your ass some more.

The monkey got excited
Started jumping up and down
His foot missed the limb
And his ass hit the ground

Like a bolt of lightning
And a ball of heat
The lion was on the monkey
With all four feet

Little monkey looked up
With tears in his eyes
Said, "Oh Mr. Lion
I apologize"

Lion said I'm not gonna kick you ass
Cause he kicked mine
I'll kick your little ass
For signifying

So monkey said, "If you let me up
Like a gentleman should
I'll kick your big ass
All over these woods.

So the lion let the monkey
Up to give him a fair fight
And the little mother fucker
Jumped clean out of sight.