She was never meant to murmur
glad tidings of life into Mary’s ear;
neither line up, stamped, impassive,
one of a gross of gold-colored look-alikes
pincushioned in a thin display
at the check-out
destined to guard your car
or glint from the shoulder of the WalMart clerk.
Nor was she popped from a mold in China, product of some wide-eyed kid’s attempt to supplement family income,
wrapped in an AirPak and
flown
over the earth
so another wide-eyed kid could wire her,
fish-hook fashion,
onto the real tree Dad and Uncle cut down.
It is not in her to
smile
a wavy dot-tipped line
from a handpainted wooden plaque for sale on eBay
whose maker’s friends say
is adorable.
Holding one knee,
she balances
in a place we bury more deeply
than a risky flirt at work
on a stone headboard
in the intimate spot
that lovers don’t touch—
the lightless retreat we all have but
don’t speak:
the wound that gushed,
ebbed to a saline trickle,
laved to a
permanent
basalt
ache.
She waits.
I’ll hold my son again.
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