- Erotic Poetry
- The street
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThe Street
Cold electric light floods my wanting face.
Transcendent flow of the topless string
Turning, facing loving truth,
The umbrella sounds with truculent waste.
The maker man makes flickering fire.
The taker man takes risk to dire falls,
The wrists of calls made flutter with chalk
The blistering face of splintering mace,
The hardened taste in hardest place,
I'm harder than your dirtiest lace
Translucent angels with placid dreams
Make flower pistols come with sipping screams.
Wings of cowering bugs
Swept beneath smothering thugs.
Don’t turn to gentle men
When troubles come to nested den.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneabout 16 years agomove Transcendent and Translucent closer, add another Trans...avoid too many lines beginning with The, It start sounding like duh, duh. Very good for a beginning.
Anonymousabout 16 years ago"blistering mace of splintering mace"
Plenty of great lines and mind-bending sensations, but this one... well, it splattered in my face. In a good way.
Angelineabout 16 years agoconvey really well the dark gritty feel of street life. I think you sort of went overboard with poetic devices (rhyme, assonance, alliteration), but even so it's a strong piece of writing and you have quite a way with words. Keep writing poetry and you'll keep getting better.
Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Reviews thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read! :-)
