The Wave of Depression

it comes in waves
this lost feeling of loneliness
that no one understands
the utter conviction that no one understands
and nothing is real
i watn to feel like i'm here
but my limbs are numb
and there's nowhere but down
lungs bursting for air
but i can't breathe this atmosphere

there's no rhyme
no reason
i can be up up up
i can be happy
it happens
and then without warning
waves
that steal my breath
and i'm drowing

i've been swimming for years
but i can't find my way to this surface
and i'm swamped

it seems like the water is always there
and has always been there
i may break through
on occasion
find driftwood... stay afloat

until the next wave
and i wonder sometimes
when it's going to end.





you are the light at the end of the tunnel
and i'm terrified