the X (Lonely Hearts Club) Files

suddenly not so Serene

Hello.
I’m a manic-depressive and recently, I joined a new age lonely hearts club. The other week, I met someone who called herself Serene. I told her I was manic-depressive, and that there’s many a slip ‘twixt disordered thoughts and the zip. Suddenly, she was not so serene, and I never heard from her again.

Angel Dust

Then, I met Angel Dust. Wow. She was into speed. That really appealed to my manic side. We met, fucked, married and had kids in 30 seconds. Then I got depressed, and she became a blur.

Rusty

Now Rusty was something else. For a start, he was a guy, which was a real surprise. I think he was more surprised than me because he hit me when I tried to fuck him. Early one morning, the X New Age Lonely Hearts Club rang to apologise for their mistake. When Rusty answered the phone, they hung up.

Germane

Germane was a feminist with multiple personalities, all of them feminist. Each of
them, and there were many, held me responsible. After that, I could never forgive
myself, and smugly, she went her separatist ways.

Marguerite

Amongst too many other things, Marguerite was a bellydancer with snakes for
arms and heartstopping hips. If she wanted to, she could turn you into semen with the bat of an eyelid. She also moved minds. Whoa. Unfortunately, I couldn’t work out where she moved mine to. I’m still looking. Now, I wobble when I walk.

Delly

I met her at the pub. She used to pose for Frank Moorehouse stories. I told her
that I once posed as spinifex for Patrick White’s The Tree of Man. She was
impressed and we had a great fuck that night. Of course there was never any
spinifex in The Tree of Man, and if there was, it would just show that I never
read the fucking book anyway.

It’s amazing how sex fucks up your life.

I think I’ll stick to drugs.

The End