- Non-Erotic Poetry
- There Is Nothing.
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Written by jes_da_man:
Friday, July 13, 2001 - 12:33:00 PM.
Please be nice enough to vote or comment on this (or any other, or all) of my stories or poems. It would be truly appreciated.
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There is nothing I can hear,
But your sweet voice in my ear.
It instantly drives away any fear
And will not allow a single tear.
There is nothing I can smell
Like your essence, which I know so well.
It affects my body, oh so much,
And turns it to something resembling jell.
There is nothing I can see,
Like your eyes looking back at me.
My Heart says, with you, I'm meant to be.
You kindle my desires and set them free.
There is nothing I can taste.
Like the kisses, on my lips, you paste.
Not even one of them will go to waste,
For, to memory they have been set in haste.
There is nothing I can feel
Like your touch that's oh so real.
Some may say that it's no big deal,
But it fills me with so much zeal.
There is nothing I can say,
That does not my love for you convey.
For you inspire me each and every day,
And at your side I want to always stay.
There is nothing I can do,
About the sky above being blue,
Or about this man loving and needing you.
All these things, I swear, are true.
- COMMENTS
buttersabout 13 years agobecause you locked yourself into a regimented rhyme-scheme that then made you have to shoe-horn words in an effort to get your end of line rhyme. it's a quick route to spoiling what you really want to express, because you get driven down side-alleys when you should be sticking to the main road :)
if you want to stick with some end-rhymes, why not try alternating lines - like an abab pattern, or, less restricting, an abcb pattern? the letters just refer to the rhymes at the ends of line that then match with other lines. your own write above is all aaaa, and that can be dreadfully hard to pull off at the best of times! good luck with your writing :)
why not check out the Poetry Forums here?
