This bloody sword

This bloody sword

What is this bloody sword?
How did it come into my life?
What is this bloody sword?

With its blade so sharp? Why does it slice and chop? How it has hurt in the past.

Why did it have to com into my life? Tearing, shredding, cutting my heart to shreds?

What is this bloody sword?

What did I do to bring it into my life? To chop and shred, to destroy everything I care for?

Where did this bloody sword come from?

How can I get it out of my life? Can I remove it from my heart? Will I keep bleeding even with it removed?

What can I do with this bloody sword?

Gentle tug or hard jerk it hurt. Pulling, twisting, turning it hurts. I want this sword gone.

Why do I have this sword in my heart?

I grasp and pull and though hard it slowly comes out. It sticks and stops as I try to remove it.

Why is the blood flowing off it?

As it slowly comes out I fall to my knees. The blood flows from the blade and soaks the dark ground.

Why is the blood so dark and the blade so clean?

It finally slides out and I have to grasp the hilt to keep from falling over. The last traces of the dark blood flows off.

Why is the blade so shiny?

I lean against the word and press my cheek against the flat of the blade. How strong is this sword? For it to support me as I lean against it?

Why is this blade so comforting?

When did this bloody sword become an anchor? How is the wound in my heart starting to heal?

How did this bloody sword become my strength?

As I struggle to my feet how can this sword support me? My heart aches and I feel so heavy and heart sore? Why does it feel so bad yet so good?

This sword is becoming my strength. Why though why?

I am finally standing yet still leaning on this mighty sword.

The clouds above me slowly start to part. The warmth of the sun plays across my face. This mighty sword is gleaming in the light.

Though standing the mighty sword still supports. Why though why?

Though my heart still aches I feel good as the sun shines on me. What did this bloody mighty sword do to me?

When did this mighty sword come into my life?

I feel different, lighter, freer. With the clouds parted and the sun lighting up the plain I am on. I can see so much more.

Now I lift this mighty sword and find it is my strength. It is my strength because it isn't a sword at all. It is all the people who love and care for me.

I lift this mighty sword and see the faces. The faces of everyone who believed in me and supported me in my journey.

How can I deserve this might sword?
This sword pierced my heart not to cut but to heal me. This mighty sword cut and sliced through the darkness and strings that were tying me up.

Oh how it hurt to have these deficits in my heart exposed. To show the world the sad, pathetic, scared child inside.
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Why was this mighty sword used on me?

How can they, those special ones, see what is inside and still care? Why do I deserve this love and concern? They forged this mighty sword of love, unconditional love, because I matter to them.

How I have come to love and care for this mighty sword. The mighty sword of love they forged for me.

I now know I deserve this sword so I can be free of my past and to love them back.


Written while recovering from a drinking problem at the VA.

Written by maxd01