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Click herecold like death,
silent like sleep.
Icy pillows mound
on the crystalline
blanket of Earth
holding seasons
in abeyance.
Pale canvas beckons
for crunchy giggles,
and wing flutters
embrace flight’s
imagination.
(One frozen berry
is a drop of blood
on the cheek
of morning.)
Monstrous beings
stand three circles high.
Pipe. Carrot. Charcoal
eyes melt hollowed sockets.
Art and nature are laced
into infinities of form,
substance melts to transparence,
evaporates.
I didn't think it was so great myself, lol. But I do like the blood on the cheek of morning--I was taking off on the line from Romeo and Juliet: "It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night / As a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear." Ok, so he said it better. :D
Basically I see this poem as a series of images intended to create a feeling. Not really more than that. I may rip pieces of it off for other poems, though.
I didn't think it was so great myself, lol. But I do like the blood on the cheek of morning--I was taking off on the line from Romeo and Juliet: "It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night / As a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear." Ok, so he said it better. :D
Basically I see this poem as a series of images intended to create a feeling. Not really more than that. I may rip pieces of it off for other poems, though.
because I see this poem as being a hair below your usual perfection. That's traumatic for me.
I do not care for the opening stanza. I'm sorry.
"crunchy giggles" is a bit odd but not bad but not great but it's okay.
"drop of blood on the cheek of morning" Well, I just won't comment on that.
"monstrous beings" I don't know.
This is just my first impression of the poem.
because I see this poem as being a hair below your usual perfection. That's traumatic for me.
I do not care for the opening stanza. I'm sorry.
"crunchy giggles" is a bit odd but not bad but not great but it's okay.
"drop of blood on the cheek of morning" Well, I just won't comment on that.
"monstrous beings" I don't know.
This is just my first impression of the poem.