This Time

Yeah, this time,
it's my own choice.

This time, I'm not nine,
I'm not bound in my mind
to terror-induced thoughts
to make me piss my pants
for things that were lies.

This time, when I choose,
it will be all mine.

This time, I'm not fifteen,
I'm not enslaved to a dream
where my mind revealed love
in quick patches of lust.
There is no promise
and no oath to keep or break.

Where I live,
to whom I offer my concern,
my time, my hopes, my life
- This choice I will make -
is from neither fantasy nor fear.

This is all mine,
a decision,
not for any one else,
this time.