- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Thoughts
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I found something that I wanted to wish for but then I lost it.
I felt something I wanted for the rest of my life and then it disappeared.
I tasted something that I would have savored and it just melted away.
I touched something I found irresistible and my body turned cold.
I heard something I found Bittersweet and it became sour.
I am not the person I once was but the pain still feels the same.
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREover 17 years agoYou have the sensitivity and the right feel for the flow of words in a poem. My main suggestion and I think it should not be too difficult for you to try it, is anchor your subject in a specific situation; demonstrate your feelings in a dialogue and so forth. Simply NAMING the feeling may be enough for you but at least for me – it needs to go through something that I can recognize and THEN I may be able to really get what you are talking about (What kind of pain what kind of loss etc.).
