Thoughts Of You

A fun little write; no harm in trying something a bit different.

Mini experiment on space and language. Just for the courage to play; maybe to fall; maybe to do something silly, you deserve full support. Yours BTW happened to be quite a good one; I am just making a point. I believe in the spirit of play. And since we are not giving each other the titles of “the poet lariat” there is no harm done. <P>

You “activate” the white color of the background as you turn the word: “falls”, or rather each of its letters, into symbols which connote with "snow". It happens by the virtue of the sudden ‘compliance’ of the letters to gravity, as they - like the snow, fall diagonally. <P>

“But your presence” seems less “flaky”, more substantial maybe because you changed the angel of the downward 'steps', and/or because the “unit” which leads downward is a whole word rather than a letter. At this point the diagonal movement does not imitate the snow movement. Could there be another function for these rolling letter and words? What came to mind, regarding the whole poem was using this technique as a symbol of the thoughts themselves (the thoughts are after all the official subject of the poem). <P>

There is one risk worth mentioning in playing “space” with a poem. It could distract from the original full words clauses or sentences of the poem. I am mentioning it just as a one consideration to be taken into account when deciding how to go about your poem, NOT as part of an effort to sway you away from this form of poetry! For example, almost as an afterthought, I realized that the poem leaves open two interpretations. One: the thoughts of you have the power to melt the snow. Here the verb: melt; describes the (imagined) impact of the thoughts of you. Powerful as it is, it is then contrasted with your real presence, with its luminescent light to all gray matter (no less). Oh well, always forgive people in love. <P>

The second way to read it is as follows: the thoughts are of you, as you do the work of melting the snow for tomorrow (probably putting some sort of defroster on the ground for next morning). In this read the contrast is between the content of the thought and the “content” of the sight: She could have seen him ‘in action’ in the snow, and the reflection of the snow, or the material he was using were creating the effect of adding florescent light – literally (I understand 'gray matter', but in this context it would be IMO anything that is still gray outside, even though there is obviously a play on the other gray matter).Is this read less romantic than the first? I don’t think so. It’s just less “telling” and more “showing”, and just as loving. The common feature? I had to mentally ignore the graphics so that I could concentrate on the full structure of the sentence...

***** Now what’s with the apology (Just scribbling)? ***** When are you playing again?