Three In The Morning

Three in the morning
And I'm awake
Adrenaline fueled
I twitch and quake
Sleep-starved body
Fit to drop
With a mind still racing
Refusing to stop

This isn't living
I'm barely alive
Doing untold damage
In my fight to survive
And I ask myself
How much more can I take?
It's a matter of time
Before I break.

Ignoring the clock
I rise from my bed
Seeking out pills
For the pain in my head
Knocking them back
With the dregs of my wine
I tell myself "Stop this!"
"You're going to be fine"

I walk the hallways
In darkness again
Doing the one thing
That keeps me sane
I stand still and listen
I smile with delight
At the sound of breathing
Soft snores in the night

My family sleep soundly
The ones I adore
Whose limitless love
I cannot ignore
They're the ones who'd be hurt
If I let this thing win
They're the ones who ensure
I will never give in