To L

Poem Info
77 words
4
2.1k
0
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

Taught-thighed twirler,
submissively spinning.
What now passes through
those buckled-knee eyes?

Back-arching beggar,
unbend from that washer.
Someone might see us
and I want to care.

Lap-laying straddler,
stop making me take you.
Curse your cool pride
in that nerve-touching tongue.

Smooth-bellied sigher
please cease if I say so,
or are those licked ears
for moan-hearing alone?

Pinned down gasper,
just hurt when I bite you
and leave me the will
to say no the next time.

Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
8 Comments
SeaScramSeaScramover 16 years ago
The possibility of your punning

did belatedly occur to me, portmanteau. (Seattle anonymous here again.) Those who aren't willing to give p. the benefit of the doubt here should perhaps look up the meaning of "portmanteau," and then think again, as I now have.

I should've thought harder in the first place, since first, this is a poem where one would hope the poet has deliberated over each word choice and since, second, this is a well-written poem, as almost all the commentators have noted. Thus, I should have extended the benefit of the doubt from the get-go.

My good sense and judgment were overcome by the fact that, in the prose writings we find here, this "error" is indeed one of my pet peeves.

My apologies, portmanteau.

portmanteauportmanteauover 16 years agoAuthor
Please forgive...

I hate commenting on my own poem, but I felt the need to add the petty footnote that taut/taught was a pun. The L in question was a dancer, hence the "taught-thighed". I counted on the benefit of the doubt, as I didn't expect the "dancerness" to come through strong, but I am a stickler for such things as well and am too vain to not say anything. Again, sorry.

foehn2foehn2over 16 years ago
woops

I'm embarrassed I missed what Seattle pointed out. And I understand, belatedly, Anonymous' "dictionary" reference. The poem is perhaps not quite as taut as I thought. Still, arrogant derision is uncalled for, especially against a piece of art that is otherwise pretty damned good. Still a 100 in my view: the word can be edited.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
The Poem Is Well Done

I suspect what set the original anonymous off was the misuse of "taughtly" for "tautly" in the poem's very first word.

Enough care is exhibited in the rest of the piece (as others have noted) that this poor usage might have been overlooked.

It's worth mentioning here only because the same poor usage is rampant at Literotica, despite the error having been pointed out many, many times.

If you learned something from a teacher, you were taught. There is no word "taughtly" in this sense.

If something is stretched tight, or gives that appearance, it's "taut." The usage extends into the metaphorical: a tight and well-run ship, for example, could be a "taut" ship. "Tautly-thighed" is what was needed here.

Spelling and usage errors do not, in general, ruin an otherwise well-written (or just plain hot) piece. Likewise, just getting the basics right won't salvage a poorly-plotted piece of crap. But such errors do detract from what might otherwise be unreserved enjoyment. And they often sink more marginal efforts.

And let's please get over the idea that "anonymous" comments are somehow MORE anonymous than comments contributed by those with pen names. So you sign your letter "Blowjob Bunny"? How is that any closer to a "real" identity?

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Comment for Anonymouse.

When you find your dictionary, your name is mentioned in two places, both under 'A'. Asshole and Arsehole, which is also applicable to both the Male and Female forms.

I fear that the roving poetic "Anonymous" comes from the Poetic circle and drops in on all or most of new poets, or those commenting on poetry. "Her" task is to dissuade newcomers that present a threat to her measly ambitions. Anyone that gives a fine piece of poetry a 'zero' must have an ulterior motive. I would suggest that Literotica make attempts to weed out this person and exact justice. Many of us have a good idea who 'she' is and its time it stopped.

Show More
Share this Poem

Similar poems