- Non-Erotic Poetry
- To Vaporize
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A drop released
I am tumbling
too fast
to feel a thing
I cannot float
or aim to swim
in this ocean
of confusion
As blue washes over
there’s the wretched sting
of nothingness
to thwart any dream
Will evaporation
create something?
Is metamorphosis
everlasting?
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 16 years agoCreates quite a sense of flailing and the hope that at some time yet to come, life may come to be ordered and sane.
ElmerGlewover 16 years agoSuggestions: Change "I am tumbling" to "I tumble" (passive to active verb). I find "ocean of confusion" a touch cliche. Maybe change to something like "the disorienting sea". That's my personal taste, of course. Yours may be different.
