Transcriptus Absurdus

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Nightmare on Court Street
Freddie vs. Everybody: Nobody wins

Attorney to Judge:

But your Honor! I contend,
that through no fault of his own,
My client, the defendant
was compelled to kill the alleged victims
and that Freddie here is a good fella.

Who only, when accidentally
happening upon a set of kitchen knives,
when he burgled the Carson's house,
was he then so inspired by hundreds
of teenage slasher movies,
to use said knives,
to commit this horrendous crime.

The point being, society provided
his motive, movies provided the rationale.
And the victims? Do they bear responsibility?
They themselves, your Honor,
they provided the weapons
that ended their lives.

Just the mere fact that the Carson's knew
that killers most often find
their weapons in the victim's home,
they had to know! It’s on the news everyday:

The victims were slaughtered with
a butcher knife from a drawer
in their very own kitchen, etc, etc.

And having that in mind, then why
would any sane person
even have a knife in their kitchen
I ask you, your Honor!

(Myself, I keep mine under my bed,
I ain't advertising to be no victim.)

Don't get me wrong now,
I won't go as far as to say
they brought it all on themselves
But sometimes I just have to wonder...

Now, I do agree, Your Honor,
that Freddie had a choice to make,
that choice being;
to kill them, or not to kill them,

and from my point of view
things could have gone better,
both for the victims and for myself.
This pro bono work sucks.

But here we are, he did what he did
and we wish to ask the court
for simple mercy, your Honor.

Freddie is a killer,
but in his mind he is still a child
with no understanding of reality, afterall,
look at the influences in his life!

That's all I have to say
except we ask that you spare his life.
Thank you.

Judge Durman to Attorney:

I've always wanted to say this-
Have you lost your fucking mind?
Your client may be guilty
But YOU make me sick!

(The aging jurist laments)

How dare you blame
the victims for what he did;
I'm getting tired of this shit!

(Judge removes a pistol from inside his robe
and shoots the lawyer twice)

That's what we call justice
around here! He smirked
and replaced the pistol
inside his Honor’s robe.

Freddie to Judge:

Sir? Your Honor?
What about me?
Am I going to prison,
or are you sending me home?
because, I don't think it's a good idea,
Judge.There's voices in my head.
I think I need a doctor,
and I think that lawyer's dead.

Judge to Freddie:

Now listen here Boy,
get your stuff and get on down the road.
We got more important things to do
than try to fix your head.

Change your name and move,
but don't ever set foot
in this county again. Somebody else
can have your problems.

Final notes:

The opinion of this observer is
that the justice system has serious flaws,
rehabilitation for drug offenses is negligible
and in some states a drug conviction
can cost you more years in prison
than a double homicide.

Justice, is it for you?

(any similarity to individuals living or dead is purely coincidental. If you disagree, you can sue me!)