- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Treading the Breakers
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— After Sue Walker’s “Shorings”
There are no footprints in the sea
no measure of forgiveness
just the tender chorus
sung softly by pink shells
held to the ear
hollow voices whispering
things no lips can tell
No two coastlines
tell the same story
wave upon wave of whitecapped arms
bend the sand
and grind life between the rocks
Aunt Sara said
“The fish don’t feel no pain”
Lit by the moon
the waves throb back verse
couplet tides that swell and ebb
seaweed and dried starfish
transform themselves
into a child’s treasure
she hides in her room
Alice couldn’t see the sea
when she was ten feet tall
or the late rabbit mumbling tails
secrets out of rhyme
dangled innocence read
in noontide watermark
bent sand and pounded rock
Aunt Sara said
“The fish don’t feel no pain”
and the child ain’t the same
she listens to the quiet songs
of little fishes lost at sea
her footprints marked
by the treading breakers
- COMMENTS
tungtied2uover 19 years agothis poem is more about Alice than the ocean....sort of like someone walking the edges of sanity....that line
" The fishes don't feel no pain"
really jars me....
Thanks....again....jd.
lostandfounderover 19 years agothe need to say that I think the Alcie verse gives the poem a slight dream-like quality that helps it. Sorta like the waves blurring the shore line. All put together, a very solid poem.
Tathagataover 19 years agolines are great.
~There are no footprints in the sea
no measure of forgiveness~
The rest of the poem has some great images as well.
~ see the sea~ didn't sit well with my ear...
and I hate to sound like " you know who"..but a few commas and periods would have given this a more dynamic feel.
All that being said...some great writing as always
Thank you
Maria2394over 19 years agowith the feeling of misplacement the Alice verse insinuates into the poem, but still, its an excellent poem :)
sandspikeover 19 years agoYou painted a beautiful picture of a location I carry
in my heart. It got out of focus when Alice and the
rabbit showed up. The other images are clear and it reads
well. You get a little more serious than I do with my
feet in the sand. That is a good thing.
