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Click heretwigs, pine and straw
A baby bird looks at the world
from twigs, pine and straw
easing over the edge more and more
till comes the day they fall
waving everything
to stop the world
flight takes them by awe
soft crash landings
and attempts to reach
the nest of twigs, pine and straw
practice made perfect
and life is in flight
everything grows
and grows wiser in life
two love birds
in a great big world
when winter finally thaws
swimming the skys
and feeding on grass
loving when nature calls
wise in the wind
the two love birds begin
building a nest
of twigs, pine and straw
Nice write. Can see the chick leaving the nest, growing, and finally bulding its own; starting the cycle all over again.
what a special moment in time to watch two baby birds leave the nest. :)
of twigs, pine, and straw is probably the highlight of the poem, but basically, the poem sounds like poetry you'd find written in high school English class. Is that good or bad? You simply need to advance past this stage of writing. In some of your work, you have. I'm leaving the thermometer at 50% which is a 3--and a 3, like this poem, is average. And average, in my opinion, means the poem isn't bad, but it could be improved.
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in hopes that you will find something of value in my comments,
eve