Understanding

I want so much
just to see
your smiling face
close enough to touch

my heart seizes up
is this right?
can’t take that pain
all over again

the lover
the man
everything I want
so many things I need

but what
must I endure
to secure your love
and affection

one moment giving
sharing and sweet
the next, sarcastic
harsh and abrasive

I try to understand
to know
where your heart lies
where I might be
within it

So much work
my brain sizzles
with the effort
of you

I give up
I can only be myself
and hope that you
can love who I am.