unrequited

you catch me looking
you've no idea how I watch you
you'd think me crazy

I'd like to know you
to be inside

these tastes of conversation
leave my stomach emptier

it's a dull, comfortable ache
I'll keep it because you are far

untouchable and taken
and I am incapable

so I cloak this simple sentiment
and ride my disclaimer

it is not you that I want
but the idea of you

a product of my maudlin mind
like the monster in my closet

the rapist in my back seat
the capable woman I will some day become

they are all imagined, all illusions
they leave my stomach empy, too