Untouched

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Flowers bloom in the sweet spring air
Petals unfurl, a blossom is born
A light-footed fairy dances without a care

Another steps daintily around the thorns
Sprouting from the saccharine rose she rests upon
Her petite face topped with the cap of an acorn

The nights become shorter and signal the dawn
A new season of hot and humid takes its turn
The delicate petals of the spring fairies gone

With the sun high in the sky, the air seems to burn
The fairies escape to oases of cool shade
They retreat into ponds and fan themselves with ferns

Finally, the simmering sun seems to fade
A lone leaf sinks from the sky
Launching an auburn and blonde cascade

Leaves and fairies intertwine
A blustery ballet twirling with the wind
Until the ground is blanketed, crunchy and dry

The air turns cold, the frost sets in
Fairies fade into blue and white
Their snowflake skirts sparkle with each tiny spin

Temperatures drop even more at night
Silence permeates the frozen atmosphere
A tiny bud sprouts in the moonlight

The cycle begins anew each year
The fairies wait for the dawn to appear

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Thank you all for the wonderful comments and votes on my previous poems! They encourage me to write more, even if they are criticisms not compliments. It is enough to know that someone reads my work.

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paperpoetpaperpoetalmost 10 years agoAuthor
Thank you

Thank you very much for your in-depth comment. You're correct, I am somewhat new, but working to become more experienced (and this was an attempt at a terza rima, that's 2 for nothing!). Your comment gave me much to think about as a poet, and hopefully it will show on my next poem. Again, thank you!

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 10 years ago
5ed

I assume you are somewhat new, interesting structure, Dante? Not sustained, difficult to do. I assume you are trying to do things "right", the line length seems variable, what are you trying to do? Suggest a cutting back to something a little more simpler.

Last line:

The fairies wait for the dawn to appear

The fairies wait for dawn to reappear

What line sounds better to you? Why?

If I didn't know better this looks like an attempt at a terza rima...correct me if I'm wrong...suggest using some off rime...and good luck

What you have done well with on a consistent basis is alliteration, hot/humid fan/ferns etc.

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