- Erotic Poetry
- Voice Swish
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Sweet waterfalls of music
Trickle softly inside my head
A low thrush of symphony
Slow blush as lightest red
Gentle pitch with angel's breath
Rushing past my belly's thrum
Splashing particles one by one
'Til my insides swiftly hum
Sliding under slippery moss
An orchestra dripping below
Bursting forth in swooshing strains
Each note perfectly in a row
- COMMENTS
elbiscayneover 19 years agoglad to return the favor. keep on. it's in your heart.
---elbiscayne
Maria2394over 19 years agoreally very good, and I agree with relten, the swoosh might be a bit much, but other than that, the second stanza is awesome!!! I hope you keep sbmitting, I think you have ability you have just begun to tap into :)
My Erotic Taleover 19 years agoforget the negative outlook on life
this is a vibrant and very moving poem
I loved it, for it's meaning and flow
I really liked the "Voice Swish"
Reltneover 19 years agoI like everything but the title and "swooshing".
I don't see how "Trickle" and "Splashing particles one by one" equals a "voice swish", and "swooshing" just flat out leaves me cold! - Just a little work and you will have a very enjoyable poem (IMHO).
