walking across the white

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walking across the white

I look across the white
and embark on a short dart
across its plane
bundled up to the helm
the first step slides
I realize
to be ice wise

brisk chill of white
grabbing the hairs
on the back of my neck
and pulling them to stand
straight up

the body draws up
like a curled up kitten
as steam comes
with every breath
as needles prick
the exposed flesh

Celsius sensitive
as the cold wind blows
a turn of the head
as charging forward
navigating by thought
for the eyes are ice

Cheeks feel flush
and toes sting
shuffling along freezing
like a penguin on ice
walking across the white

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3 Comments
WickedEveWickedEveover 18 years ago
dart

"embark on a short dart" I'm iffy about short dart.

I'd lose the curled up kitten.

Other than that, some good lines in this one.

wildsweetonewildsweetoneover 18 years ago
~

i like the sound of this:

'the first step slides

I realize

to be ice wise'

but this has me thinking:

'the body draws up

like a curled up kitten'

i'm thinking that a kitten draws it's body up after it gets up from being curled up. maybe, 'like a once curled up kitten' or something similar?

LeBrozLeBrozover 18 years ago
~~

You just HAD to write this, didn't you;

Now I've got to head on out into this cold

And I'm cold before I get there!!