- Non-Erotic Poetry
- walking across the white
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walking across the white
I look across the white
and embark on a short dart
across its plane
bundled up to the helm
the first step slides
I realize
to be ice wise
brisk chill of white
grabbing the hairs
on the back of my neck
and pulling them to stand
straight up
the body draws up
like a curled up kitten
as steam comes
with every breath
as needles prick
the exposed flesh
Celsius sensitive
as the cold wind blows
a turn of the head
as charging forward
navigating by thought
for the eyes are ice
Cheeks feel flush
and toes sting
shuffling along freezing
like a penguin on ice
walking across the white
- COMMENTS
WickedEveover 18 years ago"embark on a short dart" I'm iffy about short dart.
I'd lose the curled up kitten.
Other than that, some good lines in this one.
wildsweetoneover 18 years agoi like the sound of this:
'the first step slides
I realize
to be ice wise'
but this has me thinking:
'the body draws up
like a curled up kitten'
i'm thinking that a kitten draws it's body up after it gets up from being curled up. maybe, 'like a once curled up kitten' or something similar?
LeBrozover 18 years agoYou just HAD to write this, didn't you;
Now I've got to head on out into this cold
And I'm cold before I get there!!
