Warmth

I need warmth
The warmth of someone against me
Not temperature
This is more
The way it feels
To have someone against me who wants to be there
That warmth
It is hard to find
I don't know how to get it
I have had it before
A warm body
A warm heart
Holding her tight
Letting her warm me
As I warm her
Feeling her against me
And being against her
A touch
A kiss
These are things I cannot find
In the coldness of my thoughts
I want it
I need it
But I can't admit it
My persona
It is cold, rational
How can I find it?
The warmth of another's heart
When I can't even admit
That I have one myself?