Washed Up "Nirvana"

I don't know much about Buddha
or have any use for elaborate superstitions,
however benevolent;
a long, long time ago
I read his holy texts
and was quite captivated
by what he had to say;
Afterward, I lived in Thailand
and his followers gave me no reason for complaint
but Buddhism doesn't interest me today

Last night,
after a sleepless, sickening
3 day whisky binge
I went to an AA meeting;
I felt "the spirit" there
and mumbled with them as they prayed:
Some folk who know me,
pretend to, or don't even
would say I should walk
forever in their way

Well, people can say
pretty much what they've a mind to say
especially in this land, age and day;
Just now on that "addict" head,
I got "nada" either way

Me, I'm kind of in to tooth-and-claw
pen-and-guitar bloody struggle,
rebellious "spiritual" egotism
looking at the modern globe
through a primal crystal prism...
and sacrificial acts of charity
instead of clean-cut professions
of billy-club law and order
in the name of ??Jesus??

well, as that crazy entertainer Tommy Petty sang:
"I'll be king when dogs get wings;"
These just aren't my troubles to cure
and that's okay
cause I'm feeling okay,
again a bit less
but far more than sane

It's sort of like my higher elf
was asleep coming up with beautiful dreams
when awoken by a rain of green vomit:
and now I see past
some personal pains and limitations,
feel re-connected with forces primitive,
societal, loving, fierce, whatever

These are some thoughts on Nirvanic transcendence:
at the moment, only a few seem interested
and that pisses me off for sure
but not deeply...