- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Weighted
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereA warm hand on her hip
was always a clue to his desires.
A pity, then,
that all she felt was
the weight of guilt
for not loving him,
for not being brave enough
to grasp in her own hands
a chance for happiness
without him. Instead,
his heavy, expectant hand
dragged tears from her broken heart,
and when he pulled her close
to take his pleasure from her,
his touch a brand upon her,
the hot tears scorched her cheeks.
- COMMENTS
fridayamabout 10 years agoso the last two lines need more, something less expected. They let down a good poem.
DawnJabout 10 years agoAuthor...Cleardaynow! I appreciate the thought you put into it! :)
Cleardaynowabout 10 years agoInitially, this was my favourite (of the then three). It expresses the feelings and situation poignantly.
My ‘but’ is that it is on a single note or theme. It lacks that extra bit to lift it to another level (as the last three lines do on ‘This song’). I think this is a particular issue for all love poems and poems complaining about an ex or in this case current partner. Writers are not always at their best when writing about any of these. Too many give way to self aggrandisement, self justification and self pity. This one does not. It is a very good poem. I do however think it would benefit and be a level better if an additional note or element were added. Only my opinion.
