Welding

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160 words
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written earlier 2016, i think June or July

This is my mind
burning, burning up
delirious

not fever (i wish?)

but something else,

you
in there, tossing sparks

and this is agony,
this carrying
this is a project
i can't complete
something i can't fix


if only


but no, no, no, no, no


and half of my cells
are your cells
and half of yours are mine

at least abstractly
in some sense
and now
i taste your pain
somehow, spicy,
acid rain on my tongue

i want more, all, and that's
the impossible
wanting what i maybe don't want, but think i want:
the impossible

the closer i get, the richer the hurt,
yet the greater the release,
the satisfaction
wishing i could make this easy
by fitting my brain into yours,
my essence into your body
all we would have to do
to know
was to think, no words,
just color, sensation,
breathing in and out
forgetting

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