What is Love?

I Love You...

Those words are said too easily these days.
Do we really know what they mean?
Kids dating say them after a few weeks.
Girls say them about a crush.
Women say them about a dress.
The words have been trivialized.
They have been made insincere by misuse.

Love – what is it really?

They say that mothers have unconditional love for their children.
I have never felt that.
What does that even mean?
I wish I had.
Maybe I would understand how to love.
Maybe I could teach my own children how to love.
Maybe I could learn to love.

Sometimes I feel so cold inside,
Like a lost thing wishing someone would just find me.
Sometimes I feel so lost.
The world goes on by without me.
Sometimes I just watch wondering
If I should join in the games people play and other times
I lead the games laughing as others stand in the middle lost.

But then I remember,
I remember the cold times, the lonely times,
And I curl into myself shivering.
How can life...how can I be this cruel?
When will I ever be loved? Will I ever be worthy of love?
Why...why am I not worthy of love?
Am I so wounded...so far gone?

Do I deserve to be loved?

What is love?
What does love mean?
I love you...such trivial words...
So easy to say...mean so little...
We throw them around at the drop of a hat.
Why? What do we really mean? Shouldn't we mean them when we say them?
Shouldn't they be important to us? To the people we say them to?

I don't know love...
I know pain.
I know hate.
I know pity.
I know wounds.
I know regret.
I know lust.
I know hurt.
I know anger.
I know denial.
I know loss.
I know all these things...

One day, I hope to be touched by love.
By something...kind...gentle...caring...

Something real. Someone real. Someone who loves me.