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Click hereIf said a word.
To forte and crescendo
in the swell of some imaginable wave
and make our entrance
an exit, both.
To have wrestled the cat of eighteen
claws into a cheesecloth sack,
tied with silk,
pronounce ourselves liberated
from the curse of IN
(fidelity, somnia, ebriated, corrigible).
Clutching you as indemnity
against future mythologies, you holding
me as a colliery of argots,
liens placed on my future yield.
A diary could say so much,
but fervor delights in blaze,
temperance in water, beauty
in between.
Welcome to lit, I have also enjoyed reading your work on the threads. I really tried with this poem, especially coming so highly recommended, but while I like the feel and sound of some of the lines, I could not get an overall feel for what you were trying to say. Trust me, I know this means little for me to say this, as I am sure you have a clear reason in your mind, and you have reached many people here. I like that you have an unconventional voice and can tell you have talent and intelligence. I look forward to reading more of your work!
annaswirls
Welcome, I'm sorry I can't be so effusive. A little overdone
"from the curse of IN
(fidelity, somnia, ebriated, corrigible)."
comes off as a little too cute, for starters.
I can't help but say there is certain air of cheekiness in the delivery of this poem. Nice work.
I thoroughly enjoyed the poem, it's musicality and bravery in word choices. Welcome to Lit indeed.
is very impressive. I really liked the ending lines. I, too, have read your work in the passion thread, and agree with TheRainMan. Definitely, stick around. You have talent! I can't wait to read more. Write on!
saldne