Whatever

Whatever.
Why am I still doing all of this;
Trying to be happy for everyone else,
When I’m obviously not.
Trying to put on a brave face
For those I care about,
While thinking why don’t I just end it all.
There’s a catch.
If I end it, then I just end up hurting everyone,
When I’m the only one who should hurt.

So, whatever.
We’ve been together for a long time,
But not long enough it seems.
How can I make you happy when I’m always
Hurting myself in the process.
How to I reach that delicate balance without
Always screwing it up.

This is becoming a disturbing pattern.
What ever. All I want is to make us
Whole but I keep messing it up.
What do I need to do to make it all better.
There isn’t room to say whatever any more.
But once again, whatever.

I want to do whatever is right,
But how can I do that when we’re always clashing.
You are the yin to my yang, just kidding.
I’m not but I say I am.
I don’t but I do any ways.
I can’t but I always will.
I’m a walking contradiction.

Our love was meant to be
But how can it be if there’s a fight
About something stupid.
There always is. It never ends.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
So
Whatever.