When I was with him

When I was with him
And
I heard the Thompson Twins
Eighties music that
Reminded me of childhood
Hope
Promise for the future
Those were the days,
I thought

But I’m not dead yet
Why so nostalgic for
Opportunities,
Possibilities,
The promise of something there

He liked to snuggle
Would put me to bed
Sometimes spend hours scratching my back
Rubbing my arms
Whispering into my ear
And
As I drifted into sleep
He’d make to get up
I’d start into wakefulness
Demand he stay
And
He would
For another few minutes

But he would never fuck me
I lay awake at night next to him
Gushing with need
Overwhelmed by ripeness
Too wary to make a move
After being turned away so many times

Many other things
Contributed
To the demise
Of our six-year tango
A dance that should have lasted
No longer than that Fall

But now, one year later
For the first time in my life
I understand why people stay,
Blind to the numbness
That coats life with its sugary dew

Fuck those people
I want more