When Sex Isn't Always Fantastic

Fumbling fingers
A nervous smile,
I can tell you haven’t
Done this in a while.
Just calm down
And take your time,
I’m sure in a minute
You’ll be just fine.

Clothes come off
You’re on the bed,
Fuck me now
Is what you said.
Without foreplay?
No not yet,
We’re not fucking
Until I’m wet!

I guide you hand
Down to my crotch,
I can’t help glancing
At my watch.
Run your fingers
Up and down,
Back and forth
Round and round.

Easy now
Don’t go so hard,
It’s my pussy
Not a scratch card.
Slow and steady
Even strokes,
Should I just
Give up on blokes?

Searching for
My clitoris
God this
Is ridiculous
I fold my hands
Into my lap,
Do you need
A bloody map?

This isn’t going
Very well,
Just fuck me now
I start to yell.
Getting out
The k-y jelly,
I think I’d rather
Watch the telly.

Your cock slips in
You start to thrust,
This sex is hardly
Filled with lust.
I check the clock
Not even nine,
I’m dying for
A glass of wine.

You’ve barely started
I feel you blast,
I’m not surprised
You didn’t last.
I think next time
Instead of sex,
I’ll skip straight to
The cigarettes.