- Non-Erotic Poetry
- When will I see her again?
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Just a little sonnet about missing someone special...
Another sleepless night missing my love.
Sunrise, exhausted mind, replete with her.
First light, mournful calls of a mourning dove.
I miss her so. Feet wet with tears and dew,
restless, I climb the hill to look again,
hoping for the sight of her returning,
but hope is vain and time no more a friend.
I am undone, half whole, searching, wanting.
This chill is to the bone. I’m so empty.
I try to warm my heart with what we had...
her love, her joy, days and nights of plenty
but, clouds of doubt are creeping in my head
Oh love, please find your way to me again!
What can I do to ease this pain 'til then?
- COMMENTS
1funrunnerover 11 years ago"Feet wet with tears and dew... chill to the bone... clouds of doubt...."
What a mournful way to capture your emotions. A gorgeous work indeed.
demure101over 11 years agoI’ve read everything said about this with interest. Sonnets come in kinds; the Italian rhyming a b b a - a b b a in the octave, and c d c - c d c or variations in the sextet. The English one has a b a b - c d c d - e f e f - g g; and the Spenserian variation a b a b - b c b c - c d c d - e e.
You could say anything not adhering to this is no sonnet, which would be nitpicking, I think. Wordsworth’s ‘It is a beauteous evening, calm and free’ has as its rhyme scheme a b b a’ - a c c a’ - d e f - d f e’ (with the accents denoting half-rhyme, later to be perfected as a technique by Wilfred Owen (cf. Futility)) and Shelley’s Ozymandias, is if anything a very flawed sonnet indeed, rhyming a b a b’ - a c d c - e d e’ - f e’ f.
Both are much anthologised, and I don’t think anybody would deny they are great sonnets – flawed or otherwise.
I really like this one. Well done.
twelveooneover 11 years agoi posted a new response, hopefully it will clear up the confusion in terms, i also posted two wikipedia links concerning Rhyme. As far as the writing this is good. As with everything it could be better, so to help you on the way, a minor nit, 'til you really don't need till works just as well. Outside of that this has clear language, it lives, nothing hackneyed, cliched. In other words, good job, and i generally hate sonnets.
twelveooneover 11 years agoi 5ed this, i'm not dogmatic
see the post concerning rhyme
