Where You Find It

Was sittin' in a run down bar
on Christmas Eve, my friend.
Was just about to raise my hand,
but stopped when they came in.

The red man gazed around the scene,
boomed, "WHATHA HELL YOU DOIN' HERE?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH FAMILY,
AND NOT IN HERE SUCKIN' BEERS!"

I raised two fingers in the air,
put my Visa down in front.
"A Bud for me and the red man,
give the green dudes what they want."

"We've been doin' this forever,
so, you're the one that's late,
come meet my brothers and sisters,
for you there is no gate."

With that, he guzzled down his Bud,
a gold debit card appeared,
"I'M BUYIN' FOR THE HOUSE;
IS THERE ROOM FOR MY REINDEER?"

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The green dudes were all weavin',
way before we heard last call.
The red man was tellin' stories,
some would say that they were tall.

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We helped the red man to the curb,
all the green dudes in the bag.
Reindeer chompin' on their bits,
nine taxis we did flag.

So if your tree fell over,
your presents not quite right;
maybe you should cut some slack;
look at where he spent the night.