- Erotic Poetry
- Whiskey and some ice
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Click hereBy the window watching ice
melt from St. George’s dome
remembering when we sat
same window different ice.
You were excited
naked under your sheep-lined coat
the barman undressing you
with his eyes.
You had been to midnight mass
in boots and sheepskin
eaten of His flesh
His blood sacristy-sweet
upon your breath
Christ’s holy slut
my brazen lamb of God.
I’d sat across the street
a fallen crucifer
nursing my whiskey
same window different ice.
::
- COMMENTS
bflagsstabout 15 years agoIn the last stanza I can't find the tense relation to the rest of the poem. It seems like we have present, then recall and voice in past, but then where are you at the end? Anyway, "Christ's holy slut" is weak/lazy, going from sacristy-sweet to something as blunt and inelegant doesn't work here. I agree, it does seem like lack of execution on a solid idea.
Epmd607about 15 years agobut for me you didn't execute, aside from this portion:
You had been to midnight mass
in boots and sheepskin
eaten of His flesh
His blood sacristy-sweet
upon your breath
