Why Did You Stay?

The most insulting thing to ask is "why did you stay?" When you believe you are nothing, capable of nothing, broke and broken from lies and promises of equality and forced into believing you're insane, the cherry on top is the sheer brutality. His willingness to torture, hurt, and even kill. He gets to the phone before you can after choking you. Tells the police it is the dreaded mania again. That's why she's hiding now. Or screaming. Or complying. He's calm. Always very calm. Even when the barrel to the gut comes or the arm to the throat. Hospital gives new meds and wonders why I'm in here every few months but never asks questions. I'm silent until asked to remove my clothes. I scream and am sedated. Scared of everyone. I stay to myself. He picks me up and I believe he's right about nobody else giving a fuck. No visitors and no help. I hid the guns but he always found them. And me. He asked me once if I was afraid of completely losing my mind. Your personality changes each time you're hospitalized, you know. Go to bed at 10 p.m. or you may never come back from it. I'm putting your money in savings for you because you can't handle your own finances.