Why I Hate Survivor



Peer pressure is always a dangerous thing
Even when it seems benign.
"Join Survivor," he said. "Okay," I replied.
And I sat down to fill in the lines.
But that was before I hated Survivor.

I don't even know why I thought it would be
A goal to which I should aim.
I don't like competition, avoid it like mad.
But peer pressure, of course, is to blame.
Obviously, I signed up for Survivor.

The first time I looked at the stories I wrote,
It was right before Fourth of July.
Other contestants began months before,
But I figured I'd give it a try.
Because I still wanted to play Survivor.

I liked the idea of the challenge I faced
To write things I hadn't before
But when I filled out my Survivor scorecard,
There were errors I couldn't ignore.
I screwed myself before starting Survivor.

I do like the contests that come 'round each season.
The themes are good for my mind.
But the choices I made—Mature, Letters, and First Time—
Put my point total so far behind!
There's no way I'd keep up in Survivor.

Now I've been writing with not enough time,
Which equates to me writing like shit.
Survivor is not about quality though.
I don't worry when I click "submit."
Quantity's key when you're a Survivor.

I guess I'll hold on and see what I write
'Tween now and the end of the year.
But don't read my stuff; it's a big pile of suck.
I can't write under pressure, it's clear.
Quality isn't a part of Survivor.

If you're still listening, I'm sorry, my friend.
This shit isn't worth a damn dime.
My poetry is even worse than my stories.
I shouldn't be wasting your time.
My god, I fucking hate Survivor.

I told you peer pressure was what brought me here
To compete in this fucking contest.
I'm still earning points on this big pile of suck.
But for now, I will give it a rest.
I'm blaming Lovecraft68 for doing Survivor. ;-P