Why the Lash?

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triara
triara
2 Followers

You ask what draws me
To crave the lash
I need that loss of control
My worries fall away.
Someone I trust is in charge\
I can let go, if only for an hour
Responsibilities fall away
I am, I feel, I beg
To be used and taken
The hand in my hair
Demanding submission
Releases me

I weep in relief
Releasing tensions I didn’t even know I had.
No I don’t want you to stop,.
I didn’t use the safeword.
Take me to the place where nothing matters
Except pleasing you.
I fly

The next day I finger the marks,
In remembrance
Some gals wear a guys jacket or t shirt
I like to have a tangible reminder
That I can let go, just for a while
And lay my head in your lap

triara
triara
2 Followers
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4 Comments
PoetGuyPoetGuyabout 13 years ago
Poet Guy rather liked this.

As Koba said, it gives one some insight into the relationship. It could, though, be improved through the use of images as the means of conveying the emotion--currently the narrator is more or less just telling the reader what she feels. Though, having said that, Poet Guy is unable to make any clever suggestions on imagery the author might use.

KobaKobaabout 13 years ago

Poetically it is a bit weak as it really is a paragraph broken into lines. But I give you a 5 anyway because it gives a wonderful feel for why a submissive craves submission. One of the finest explanations I have ever heard. Well done on that account!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
hmmm

u shoulda stopped at the first paragraph....there is a preview feature, use it///////