Will (Jesse's poem)

I seek only solace

Seek peace from the anxiety
Of being always only me
That makes it sometimes, often even,
Difficult to breathe

I'd gaze at them adoringly
So wistfully
And loyally
Defiantly
Resentfully
Then finally

Would leave them to their own self worship
Shoulder cold from no warm hand
No place to rest my head
No bed
No one to calm the storm or shred
The fear of the eternity
I've glimpsed between the snowy trees

No peace

I have no peace

If only he
Had gazed at me adoringly
I would not have to live so free
Awake with nervous energy
I'm never still

And now I'm done

With hoping he might come to me

But all of that sad noise aside
Still left is an aggressive tide
Of need and lust and hunger
Of the kind he left behind

Push me up against a wall
I'll taste the damp of bricks for you
Or have me take you in my mouth
I'll drink down every drop of you
I'm not afraid to fuck like dogs
But once is not enough

Is not enough

Softer now, since all of you are soft
And I am always hard...
Touch my head, and I will lay it in your lap
And love you

Will
Take you in my mouth and please you
Will
Drop right here to taste and tease you
Will
Offer you my darkest self
If you will be my light

Will be all you desire again,
If only you will

Only you

Will