- Non-Erotic Poetry
- wind, woman
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Click hereYou refuse
to hear me-
listen only
to words.
You understand
the flap of pink umbrella,
angry wind
the swirl of tri-colored straw
angry woman
before anything
I choose to say.
We are here.
Now. I say break.
You hear end.
I mean both.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 16 years agoThis poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,500 poems.
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KOLKOREabout 17 years agoFrankly, I would too panic ‘a bit’ (wait! I have – when my ex said the same!). “Break” eh? Like its close relative: the “space” have come to be the dull humiliating euphemisms we endure when a patronizing self righteous boyfriend/girlfriend; partner; spouse wants to make the job of the dumping so much easier (on them) I bet that soon after we could hear the ultimate: “It’s not you it’s me” dumping line.
But let’s leave the obnoxious guy alone for a moment. The fantastic image in the second stanza projects the guy ’s
PERCEPTION of the woman,and is amazing in its vividness and strength. I have benefited from reading your later “center piece” and feel that it supports the same theme here: in his eyes the woman is closer to all the “angry” objects surrounding them than to him. Never mind that she captures ahead of him what later on he admits that he feels to. But again, the contrast (later to become metaphor) between the rhetoric and the strong visual /auditory imagery is immediate, and the impact sharp as nails. It demonstrates the tension of the situation from the first read before you have time to breath.
Anonymousalmost 18 years agowow, this poem really rocks, I love its brevity of length, but power of meaning. does that make sense? excellent, ms. smut, clapping...
:annaswirls
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoA well-deserved E, Ms. Smut! This has a wonderful poetic sensibility to it.
Fly
