Windy Day

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61 words
4.25
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Belegon
Belegon
124 Followers

The wind blows
Through red leaves
Reaching over
The blue of the lake
The view is ever changing
As branches sway
Words of description
Catch in my throat
For fear that to voice them
Will spoil the magic
Chase away the perfection
Of a moment
When nothing else
Is as important
As the motion
Of red branches
Dancing in the wind

Belegon
Belegon
124 Followers
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3 Comments
WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
red

Very good. I agree with george. I think it'll have more impact if you stick with "Through red leaves" and "Of red branches" and drop the blue.

*I don't use the thermometer

jd4georgejd4georgeover 19 years ago
Lovely...

...though I didn't need "the blue of lake". It made me begin to suspect the color references, which momentarily obscured the poem for me. Why not just limit the color to the opening and closing "red"?

Maria2394Maria2394over 19 years ago
beautifully serene

when nothing else is as important...I know the feeling and you captured it perfectly :)

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