Witch Hazel

They call me Witch Hazel
Because I sting.
Ooh, Baby,
I know how to sting.

Half the price
Of psychobabble,
And twice
As fucking good!

Hey, Joe, give me a beer
And one for my buddy
Sitting here.

Now tell me, Pal,
What other whore
Buys you a beer?
Look at that head,
Makes me hot,
Ya know what I mean?

I know how to handle
All irritations
And whatever
Witch Hazel labels say,
I don’t avoid swallowing,
Know what I mean?

I keep out reach
From all the children
And if your condition
Starts to worsen,
Don’t see a doctor,
Come see about me.

All the boys at Bailey’s bar
Know me well.
There they are.
I can read their lips:

“Bet she’s likes it.”
“Nah, she doesn’t.”
“Yes, she does.”
“Nah, she doesn’t.”

Yeah, I like it.
Hey there, baby.
I’m as clean as it comes.

Hah! Silly me!
Here I am
Cuming again.
Makes me hot,
Know what I mean?

They call me Witch Hazel
Because I sting.
Ooh, Baby,
I know how to sting.