- Erotic Poetry
- written while falling asleep
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i would be grass to the brush of your palm
silk, and water
river over rock
air over ice
smoke over rush
you'd bring flocks of birds to my mouth
prisms to my senses
sleet and mist, a monsoon to my eyes
you, the wind
the flame
the molten wax
the bark and flexing thrust of salmon
rising through the rivers
white waters churn and froth and boil
the leaps the undertow the
breath held
the magnificent leaps
- COMMENTS
BlackShanglanover 16 years agoI suppose this is proof that no two tastes are alike - first line, second strophe is one of my favorites. I love the startling and fresh imagery of it, a strength that I see throughout this poem. It's vital, powerful, and beautiful while eschewing the trite, cute, and too-well-worn elements that can lead love poetry astray. Excellent work with a great ear as well as a strong eye; this is a pleasure to read aloud.
BlackShanglanover 16 years agoI suppose this is proof that no two tastes are alike - first line, second strophe is one of my favorites. I love the startling and fresh imagery of it, a strength that I see throughout this poem. It's vital, powerful, and beautiful while eschewing the trite, cute, and too-well-worn elements that can lead love poetry astray. Excellent work with a great ear as well as a strong eye; this is a pleasure to read aloud.
LeBrozover 16 years agoWith one small exception, a wonderful solid collection of smooth metaphors, soothingly descriptive of a romantic relationship. But that first line, second strophe! After reading this over a couple times, I found myself imagining the need to spit out feathers. {A rather half-ass backwards compliment, to be sure.}
